UnUntitled: The Beginning

Dialogue with myself

Characters:

Me- psychiatrist

I- patient

Prologue: Have you ever thought about yourself so deeply and long that you feel like you have mentally detached from yourself and you then can have dialogue on your own?

Scene:

Me:  Could you describe where your life stands now?

I: My life stands in nothingness.

M: Could you be more specific?

I: I feel nothing. No, that’s not the case. There is a whole lot of nothingness in my soul and so I feel I am nothing.  Yes, I embody nothingness.

M: Do you know why you feel that way?

I: I stand alone in the gloom. I have fallen apart. All that I had is on the floor. The wind comes and takes them with him. I can’t find my puzzle pieces to put myself back together. I have to find new pieces. I have lost a huge part of myself.

M: What caused that?

I: I crave for pleasure. Therefore I have sinned. Pleasure has me on its’ bait.  But lately I have been feeling that all the momentary pleasures aren’t enough any more. They don’t satisfy me. I need something greater- I need bigger bait. Life, God or the Devil won’t give me one. Now I am empty. Unsatisfied. Ill. Even physically.

M: What keeps you going?

I: Maybe fear. Maybe hope.

M: Say the last phrase without the word ‘maybe’.

I: Hope

M: How did that feel?

I: Like lying.

M: Why don’t you write something?

I: I have never been more afraid of it in my existence.

M: Why don’t you paint, draw, sketch?

I: I am afraid.

M: What are you afraid of?

I: You

M: Me?

I: I-I

M: Why?

I: Because you are the reason I am in this state of mind. Why won’t you just accept it? You are so bloody hard to please, you idealist.

Epilogue: And now the roles have changed.